Yes, my cock is huge, enormous, gigantic, large, big, massive, jumbo, colossal, humongous, okay, I think you get it. Also, I would like you to know that my HUGE cock ownz you, it ownz your friends too, and your family. My cock ownz the universe.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Polie Has a Small Cannon!

Well, Polie thought he was being all cool showing his cannon to everyone, yeah, right, Polie's cannon is an embarrassment. It was mostly a "point and laugh" experience. It's like, boy, put that thing AWAY! Now if people wanted to see a cannon, they could go look at any of the other cannons in the world. Of course they don't even have to because my cannon OWNZ them, and they are forced to suck my cannon, and only my cannon.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Size DOES Matter

Now some overly optimistic people with small cocks started the whole thing about "size doesn't matter." Yeah, right, size does so matter. Any person successful in history (AKA Me, Myself, and I) had an ENORMOUS cock. So next time someone says "It's okay, size doesn't matter" to you, reply with "SIZE DOES MATTER, MARK OWNZ ME" and swallow some enlargement pills.

Cock on the Go

Now we all know that there is a pretty long line waiting just to taste my cock for a fraction of a second. Although sucking my cock is everyone's primary job, some people have second jobs. Since these people with second jobs weren't previously able to suck my cock 24/7, I made a way for them to keep their mouths full of me, even while they sleep! Since people can't bring my cock to work them, I am bringing their work to my cock! I have passed a law requiring all buisinesses in the universe to take place at my cock, that's right, you can suck my cock and work at the same time now!

10 Reasons Why My Cock is AWESOME!

1. It's HUGE
2. It OWNZ you
3. It's HUGE
4. It OWNZ you
5. It's HUGE
6. It OWNZ you
7. It's HUGE
8. It OWNZ you
9. It's HUGE
10. It OWNZ you

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

The Levels of Hell

Harry Potter
Circle I Limbo

Spongebob Squarepants
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Barbie
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

George W Bush
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Bill Clinton
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

The Pope
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Court
Circle VII Burning Sands

Paris Hilton
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Polie Bear
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Bears With Small Poles

Well obviously nobody's "pole" is as big as mine, but Polie Bear has the smallest pole in the world! It's so tiny, the kid couldn't get laid if he hired the trashiest hooker alive. It's okay Polie, you can suck my pole to compensate for never getting yours sucked.

Delicious!

My cock is delicious, you should try licking, no, sucking, no, deepthroating, yeah, deepthroating it one day ;)